Sakara OBSESSION

"Food contains information. Every bit of food you eat broadcasts a set of coded instructions to your body - instructions that can create either health or disease." -Dr. Mark Hyman

"Food is information that tells your genes how to best replicate and repair. Each bite is an opportunity to instruct your body to heal." -Danielle Duboise and Whitney Tingle, Sakara co-founders

S A K A R A
(suh-KAR-uh) Sanskrit.

adj: With form. Or giving form to that which does not have form.

n: 1. The physical manifestation of Brahman - in Hinduism, the ultimate principle of the universe. 2. The action of turning thoughts to things and dreams to reality.

I've been coveting the Sakara signature meal delivery program for years. YEARS. Every meal is vegan, organic, plant-based, gluten-free, dairy-free, non-GMO, and contains no refined sugar. Three days of Sakara meals flood your body with over 100% of your daily requirements for protein, essential vitamins and minerals, more than 15 cups of leafy greens to heal your gut, 100+ disease-fighting, youth-promoting phytochemicals and antioxidants, 200% of the fiber you need daily to support digestion, and more than 100 unique ingredients for ultimate health.

Do you know how much planning, shopping, prepping, and cooking it would take to do that yourself? A LOT. I know a fair bit about nutrition, and I'm a good cook. I've done lots of cleanses and meal plans; I've prepped three-day cleanses for myself and my sister over the years. IT IS A TON OF WORK. When I think about trying to create that kind of meal plan for myself, the price tag on Sakara starts to make a lot more sense to me.

Let's just get this out of the way: the Sakara meal delivery program is expensive. It just IS. For me, it was a long-anticipated splurge. I found a long-lost Visa gift card someone gave me at Christmas, and also happened to make some extra money editing a poetry collection for a friend last month. It's certainly not in my standard budget. But if you are able to swing it, it is categorically worth every last penny. And because the entire program is designed around the idea of food as medicine, and because the people behind it work with doctors, scientists, and healers to create exceptionally thoughtful, delicious, and nourishing meals, what you're paying for goes far beyond the meals themselves (which are absolutely divine) and includes your overall health, your productivity, your mood, your ability to enjoy your life and feel good in your body, and so much more.

When I finally (FINALLY) ordered three days of Sakara meal-delivery, I had high expectations - in fact, I had extremely high expectations. Probably the highest of expectations! My yoga crush, Kathryn Budig, had been Instagraming about Sakara on the regular, and I know she knows good food. I had poured over the website longingly enough times to know that everyone from Oprah to supermodels raved about it, and had picked up on the fact that Sakara often had menus created by Michelin star chefs by following all of their social media accounts. And although I've tried a lot of food delivery services that I've really enjoyed, and regularly use a couple that are within my budget (Daily Harvest and Hungryroot are both fantastic and affordable), I've never had my mind completely blown by anything I've tried. Until now.

My nine Sakara meals - plus the Detox tea (roobios, lemongrass, and rose - it's SO SOOTHING) and their probiotic that comes with your meal delivery order - absolutely exceeded every expectation that I had. There were a couple of meals that rank among the best things I've ever ate, EVER, and I've been lucky to go to many excellent restaurants. This food is something seriously special. It's beautiful. It's fresh. And it is DELICIOUS. I mean slowing down and savoring because every single bite is a treat, licking the bowl, feeling emotional when it's all gone DELICIOUS.

Those three days were absolutely amazing. And not just because every meal felt like unwrapping a present and was absolutely delicious. By dinner on Wednesday, I knew something was happening. I felt so much more energetic, I was already less bloated, and I wasn't hungry in between meals. I didn't crave junk food or late-night snacks. By breakfast on Thursday I was noticing my mood: namely that my mind felt less cloudy and I was feeling unusually happy. By Thursday dinner I felt downright giddy and clear-headed in a way I didn't realize I was missing. I stuck with plant-based eating after my meals were gone (but I absolutely had martinis and fries on Saturday night) and on Sunday I actually felt like exercising.

If you want to try Sakara, you can use my link to get $50 off your first meal delivery order. And full disclosure: I'll get $50, too. And that would be awesome because my dream life involves being able to flood my body with this kind of super-power nutrition as often as I can! And I hope the same for you.

So without further ado, here are my nine glorious Sakara meals, from packaging, to what's inside, to plated. Enjoy!

Click here to order Sakara and get $50 off!

Tuesday dinner:

Dinner #1 - Tuesday

Beauty Blend Salad. This dressing was so flavorful and the seed covered avocado did, actually, change my life.

Wednesday breakfast:

Breakfast #1 - Wednesday

This was one of the most delicious things I've ever had for breakfast. I could eat it for dessert. It was like a banana pudding Tira Misu. That vanilla specked cream was revelatory. 

This was a good breakfast to have in the bath.

Wednesday lunch:

Lunch #1 - Wednesday

Love the metta meditation.

Sweet beet and toasted cashew medley. The ginger glow dressing was amazing.

Wednesday dinner:

Dinner #2 - Wednesday 

Thai Burger and Root Fries. Still thinking about this one. Especially that sauce.

Thursday breakfast:

Breakfast #2 - Thursday

Looks can be deceiving. This doesn't look like much in the package,
but it was actually incredibly substantial and unbelievably delicious!

The muffin was so moist. That lemongrass butter was like candy. This was such a pleasure to eat.

Thursday lunch:

Lunch #2 - Thursday

Watermelon radish is beautiful.

This is the meal that took me over the edge. It was unlike anything I've ever had before, and just spectacularly tasty. One of the best things I've ever had to eat all told, not just via a meal delivery service. SO. GOOD. I get emotional about it. :)

Thursday dinner:

Dinner #3 - Thursday

This felt so indulgent! The sunflower "chorizo" actually blew my mind. So did the crema. Just amazing.

Friday breakfast:

Breakfast #3 - Friday

I love granola. I had high hopes for this one, especially after hearing Kathryn Budig talk about how her wife, Kate, always eats all of the Sakara granola as soon as they get a delivery.

Probably the best granola I've ever had. And that MYLK! This was so decadent but left me feeling amazing!

Friday lunch:

Lunch #3 - Friday

Sunshine Curry Bowl

This was so delicious, but also so FRESH. The vegetables were actually beautiful.

If you are able to try Sakara, please use this link; you will get $50 off your first order, and I'll earn $50 off a future order, which would be the best thing ever! Happy eating and healing!

Day 5. SUCCESS.

I'm not sure watching FoodTV is the best idea. I'm really, really, really hungry. I truly cannot imagine how anyone does this for more than a day. Hell, I'm not even sure I can make it a full day yet. I was hoping that the fact that these Invigoration Cleanse juices don't actually skimp on sugar would mean I'd have no problem sticking to just juice, but I'm really struggling. I probably just need to go to bed sooner rather than later. But I still have another cashew milk "juice" and I'm sure as hell not missing that. I'm having ALL OF MY JUICES, DAMNIT.

They are talking about DUCK FAT on FoodTV. Why am I doing this to myself? OMG.

I would so break this cleanse for duck fat tater tots and a cocktail at Merchant's in downtown Nashville. The fact that I live in rural western-Kentucky is totally saving my cleanse right now.

I just want to at least last a full day. No booze, no food, just water and the cleanse drinks. Okay, and I had a cup of coffee, but there was coffee IN this cleanse, anyway. That is totally legit.

The Blue Print juices are smooth as hell, and most of them have been downright delicious. I would love to have easy access to them, not so much for the purpose of cleansing (I really don't dig the liquid diet. I miss chewing) but as a super healthy daily addition to my diet, when I don't have the chance to juice at home or break out the Vitamix for a green smoothie.

Okay - drinking my last one now, so we have a breakdown of the day:

At 7:30am I had a fresh squeezed lemon in room temperature water, which is how I've started almost every single day for the past five years or so. I taught a yoga class at 8am, and drank a ton of water during and after. My morning was a bit chaotic; I didn't get to my first juice until after 10am. I had a massage after work and didn't get to my fourth juice until a bit late, which didn't give me time to wait at least two hours between the last two juices, and I'm also planning to be in bed by midnight, which, according to the Blue Print folks, isn't idea (you're supposed to have your last juice two hours before going to bed) but hey - the fact that I actually made it through this is enough to celebrate! Now I just have to NOT bounce back hard - tomorrow needs to be full of nutrients and chewing, NOT binging.

I'll be interested to see how I feel tomorrow! If nothing else, it will feel good to be fully hydrated.

Now I better go to bed before I end up eating chips. I've actually done it! I managed a full one-day Blue Print cleanse!! WOO-HOO!

Namaste.

Days 3 and 4 and onto 5.

Oh, man. I wish I could write up the past two days and say that I stuck with all of my intentions and do another checklist of being awesome, and yet at the same time, I hope that my #realityyogi experience helps someone out there wanting to chuck it all because they fucked up. I don't believe in fucking up, anyway - I think it's all about balance and staying present moment by moment to what is happening -- I didn't fuck up, per se, but I did adjust based on what was going on in my life.

On Wednesday I followed the Blue Print Inspiration Cleanse through juice #4. And then I met the family for sushi, which was my niece Lily's choice because she had her sedated MRI the next day, and - I'll own up to it - I had beer and sushi. My sister and I talked and decided that it would make more sense to do day #2 of the cleanse on Friday seeing as we would traveling two hours round trip and be stuck most of the day waiting at the hospital for Lily on Thursday, so yesterday I started the day with lemon water and juice #5 from the Inspiration Cleanse, had a turkey-bacon breakfast sandwich and a non-fat cappuccino from Starbucks for breakfast, a big salad from the hospital cafeteria salad bar for lunch, and a steak, salad, and baked potato for dinner. It was a long, stressful day, and I can honestly say it was the right adjustment to make; I can't fathom being on a juice cleanse under the kind of emotional and physical stress that Lily's MRI days involve. And all told, it wasn't an awful day in terms of food, and I did stay hydrated.

So today, Friday, we're back at it. I'm following the Blue Print Invigoration Cleanse, and so far (I'm two juices in) it feels like a walk in the freakin' park compared to the Invigoration Cleanse. Which is not surprising; even the Blue Print folks point out that the Inspiration Cleanse, with its five green juices, is no joke and not for beginners. I was just attracted to all of those green juices and excited about watercress and dandelion (two things I certainly can't get where I live.) I would love to be able to incorporate those juices into my normal diet, but even the Breville juicer, which is supposed to be one of the best, doesn't do a great job with greens.

In any event, the coffee, cashew, cinnamon, and vanilla drink that I started out with this morning was absolutely decadent, honestly. The apple, lemon, cayenne, and ginger I just had was phenomenal. I was feeling hungry before I drank it, and I actually feel surprisingly satisfied now.

So today, day 5, my plan is to be super clean - no booze, no food, just this juice. Part of me wishes I could have a do-over on the Inspiration Cleanse because I really only lasted 12 hours/4 juices, but at least I can give this one a fair shot. I have a busy day at the studio - three classes, two privates, and a to-do list a mile long, but I'm going to have a massage after I close up here, and then take it really easy tonight. I haven't though through tomorrow yet, which I need to do at some point; Saturday is actually my busiest day at the studio and I need to stay fueled. I'll probably pack a green smoothie, some sardines, and see what vegetables I have on hand. I'll take Sunday off to get organized for the whole foods cleanse Kathryn Budig has in her new book, Aim True.

Namaste, friends.

Day 2 - aiming true

I have to admit that the preparation and work it takes to maintain a clean diet is INTENSE. I feel like I spent most of my time today in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes, or in the grocery store, or in the car getting from my kitchen to the grocery store and back again. The good news is that I have two prep-free days ahead - Rhian and I are embarking on two days of the BluePrint Cleanse. But that's also the bad news, because I'm really not sure I can possibly manage living on juice alone for two days - especially the first day - we're doing the Inspiration Cleanse which is five green juices and one cashew milk drink. On Thursday we're trying the Invigoration Cleanse which includes a coffee drink right off the bat, and has a beet juice and two lemon based juices. I'm looking forward to both days, although truth be told, I'm not giving up my three shots of espresso either day, or a glass or two of red wine at the end of the day, unless I feel really inspired for some reason to do so. Honestly, I am a big advocate of SUSTAINABLE, do-able changes, and after all of these years going up and down the scale, even while maintaining a relatively vigorous asana practice, I just know that when I go to far one direction, I tend to bounce over the other way. So with THAT said, if I need some quinoa and vegetables at the end of the day, in addition to six juices, I'm not going to go to into starvation mode. We'll just see. I am INCREDIBLY excited, though - I have wanted to do the BluePrint cleanse for FOREVER. I almost can't believe I finally have these juices in my possession!

So here is how today went.

I got 8 hours of sleep. Check.
I oil-pulled with coconut oil. Bonus check!
I had lemon and lime water and said hello to the sun. Check.
I drank more than enough water. Check.
I walked 30 minutes in the park. Check. GORGEOUS day.
I meditated for 10 minutes, and will mediate for 10 more minutes before bed.
I ate on point:
12:30pm-juice (beet, apple, carrot, ginger, lemon, beet greens) and a smoothie (parsley, beet greens, orange, grapes, lime, ginger, cayenne pepper, coconut water, flaxseed oil). Espresso.
5:15pm-spoonful of almond butter
8pm-salad (spinach and spring mix) with avocado and carrot/ginger dressing.
8:30pm-Easy Creamy Quinoa from Kathryn Budig's new book, Aim True, with sautéed kale, cabbage, and asparagus. Red wine.
11:30pm-apple with sunbutter
I had a shot of ACV and turmeric and crunched a few black peppercorns after dinner.
I took my probiotics. BAM.

So tomorrow it's juice and juice and juice (and juice and juice and...more juice) - two classes, two important meetings, and a massive to-do list. Given how clean and nourishing I've eaten the past two days, and the walking I've added in the past three days, I feel relatively prepared for a day of juice. Time will tell.

Namaste.

Spring Cleanse 2016 - Day One

I am fascinated by the patterns I see in my life. Thinking back on it today, I realized that it's not uncommon at all for me to move into a space of cleansing and rejuvenating during the spring. That's the positive spin; the more realistic spin is that between Thanksgiving and Easter I seem to do nothing but eat, and by the time April rolls around, I'm physically uncomfortable in my body and need to refocus on healthy choices. #realityyogi for the win.

But, it's all about balance. Someone once said to me, "everything in moderation, including moderation." I think that's a really good rule of thumb.

So this week I am focusing my practice on the following:

1) 8 hours of sleep a night
2) 20 minutes (minimum) of meditation a day
3) Clean eating; vegetables, healthy fats, fruits, protein (fish/chicken/beans), gluten-free grains (quinoa, brown rice, etc.)
4) lemon water every morning, apple cider vinegar/turmeric/black pepper every night.
5) water-water-water (fully hydrated every day)
6) 30 minute walk outside every day

Today I had:
9am-lemon water and coffee
11am-smoothie (orange, grapes, spinach, lime, ginger, cayenne, flax oil, coconut water)
2pm-sardines (wild planet)
4:30pm-spinach salad with red onion, avocado, and homemade carrot-ginger dressing / spoonful of almond butter
8:45pm-chicken-kale-quinoa soup / champagne (balance, remember?)
11:30pm-spoonful of tamari

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This month marks the first anniversary of teaching yoga in my own studio location. The last year has been an absolute blur, and yet it feels like I've been doing this forever. I'm so caught up in the day to day (to day to day) of building this business, and so focused on short term goals and managing the non-stop unexpected issues that need to be dealt with, that sometimes it's hard to stay present or to create the time to reflect. I keep trying to find the time to assess the last quarter, and to game plan for the next quarter, while simultaneously thinking about the future, and also managing the many other layers of my life... suffice to say I COMPLETELY understand the overwhelm my students and clients talk about and struggle with, and am living proof of the power of the practices I teach. Because god knows I would not be remotely sane without my yoga and meditation practices. ;)
____

In honor of my teacher, Kathryn Budig, it's Aim-True April at hOMe. Kathryn's brand new book, Aim True, came out last week, and it's absolutely beautiful. There is a 5-day cleanse in the book that looks fan-freakin-tastic, although a shit-ton of grocery shopping and cooking. I'm going to try to pull it off next week, though. It's three fabulous meals and two snacks every day, and the kind of food I love (like a maple roasted brussels sprouts bowl, and baked avocado eggs, and steamed artichokes with lemon butter and wild arugula and peach salad...OMG YUM)

roller in the coaster and shine in the sun

This is Lily. She loves life more than anyone I know, never misses an opportunity to jump in a muddy puddle, obsesses over animals, (particularly dogs) and is always up for a dance party. She wakes up happy every single day; her eyes open and her sweet smile is never far behind.


She also has Tuberous Sclerosis Complex. Up until now it has not had a discernible effect on her life beyond having to take blood pressure medication daily.


She is a treasure.



 One day, Lily sent this video to her favorite musician, Justin Roberts.

And then this happened:

And then this:

And this:

And every single other song on her list happened, too. This also happened:

I think the THANK YOU is pretty clear.

As terrified as we all for what might happen when my niece Lily was born and transported via life-flight helicopter to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital on October 12, 2009, the last five years have been fairly uneventful in terms of her health. Despite her diagnosis with Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC) in utero Lily has developed normally, and blossomed into a vibrant, loving, hilarious, and compassionate human being with a zest for life that is unmatched. This child wakes up happy, excited for even the most mundane details of the day ahead. She is just an absolute joy. To know her is to love her, truly.

Lily LOVES Justin Roberts and the Not Ready for Naptime Players. She has always seemed to hear and experience music and lyrics on a different level than other kids, and has developed a very specific connection with Justin Roberts. We had been counting down to his concert at Kenyon for MONTHS when the results of Lily's yearly MRI came back. After so many years of "see you in 6 months" we never expected her nephrologist to say she needed surgery. For a moment it wasn't even clear that she'd even get to go to Ohio at all. Thankfully, her nephrologist cleared her to fly and surgery was scheduled the week after the concert. The entire trip took on a poignancy that was, at times, painful.

I am so lucky to count Justin Roberts, Liam Davis, and Gerald Dowd friends, and when I let them know about Lily's situation, Justin immediately asked what her favorite songs were. I am so grateful to Justin, Liam, and Gerald for making Lily feel recognized, seen, and loved. I took as much video of the concert as my iPhone would hold, knowing how precious the memories would be, even as I tried to stay present as they were happening.

And so sweet Lily is having surgery this week. Two of the cysts in her right kidney are dangerously large, and have to be drained. Because of her medical situation, after surgery the only pain medication she is permitted to have is Tylenol. She will begin a course of treatment upon recovering from the surgery that has potentially nasty side-effects, in order to (hopefully) suppress the growth of both new and existing kidney cysts.

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around what is ahead. It's heart-breaking and terrifying and unfair and overwhelming. Lily is too young to fully understand what is happening, but she is very scared.

Because people have asked, I thought I would go ahead and offer a mailing address for Lily this week. If you'd like to send something her way (she is heading to Memphis on Monday, surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, and they expect to be there until Saturday) you can do so via the following address:

Lillian Solise
c/o FedEx Family House
918 Poplar Avenue
Memphis, Tennessee  38105

"...the road up ahead might be a rocky one but we'll get it done, then we'll roller in the coaster and shine in the sun."

Thanksgiving!

For the first time in four years I am serving a traditional Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, making everything from scratch, and I couldn’t be more excited. Maybe it's a testament to the benefit of taking a break from tradition. For years I have told just about anyone who would listen that Thanksgiving is the most overrated holiday meal of the year; over-hyped, anti-climactic, and chock full of boring, heavy, bland food. The last time I prepared a full traditional dinner I really tried to prove myself wrong, driving all the way to Nashville to buy an over-priced free-range, organic, local, Ph.D holding turkey from Whole Foods and the equally over-priced William-Sonoma brining bags and brine mix everyone on the Internet was swearing by. I made picture perfect red potatoes, cut in half with a full sage leaf carefully pressed into the fleshy skin before roasting. And of course all of the other usual suspects were on the table. It was good. I’m sure some people would have called it great. But I was unimpressed. It was a shit-load of work (especially that whole wet-brine deal) for very little pay off. I couldn't tell a differnce in the turkey from any other Thanksgiving turkey I'd ever had or made. The next year, having decided to put my own culinary energy into a Christmas feast (which I will ALWAYS, always, ALWAYS do, no matter what I do on Thanksgiving, see exhibt A here), I catered Thanksgiving dinner from Whole Foods, and hit a deer on the highway on my way back home from picking it up on the night before Thanksgiving. The turkey and I both survived the terrifying wreck, but my beloved Honda did not. I think that soured me even more on Thanksgiving, and for the next two years I wouldn’t touch a turkey with a 10-foot pole. We made our own sushi feast one year, complete with the most beautiful sushi-grade tuna you’ve ever seen, and did a Thai extravaganza the next year, with fresh rolls meticulously crafted by hand, fish curry, and ice-cream on top of sweet sticky rice. Happy Thanksgiving to the Lowbridge-Solise family!

Not our Thanskgiving sushi feast from 2011, but a sushi feast nonetheless.

Now it has been four years since I last wrestled with a turkey (and reminisced about the one and only fight my parents had each and every year, or at least the one and only fight we were privy to. We'd hear them from our bedrooms before the sun was up arguing about how to clean and prepare the turkey), and I’m ready to give it the old college try again, and prove to myself that a traditional Thanksgiving dinner can be thrilling, delicious, and worth every last bit of hype thrown at it. The challenge? I’m also staying local for all ingredients (no trips to the Fresh Market in Evansville or the Whole Foods in Nashville – if I can’t find it at Walmart, Kroger, or Marketplace in Madisonville, Kentucky, it isn’t gonna be on the table), and keeping the budget under $200 from start to finish. I’m dry-brining a 20 pound bird this year (it’s all the rage in the foodie world, I’m told) using my own combination of the LA Food Section’s Zuni Café inspired method, and a garlic-herb rub from Bon Appetit (minus the salt & sugar) for the last 8 hours when the birds sits uncovered in the fridge, plus the good-old herbed butter under the skin technique I mastered back in 2009 (if you’ve never had your entire forearm underneath the skin on a turkey, you haven’t lived). There will be mashed potatoes and homemade gravy, there will be sweet potato biscuits and cornbread stuffing (I made the cornbread this morning), and, a tip of the hat to my mother: a traditional French’s green bean casserole (but I’m frying my own onions, doncha know). We’ll have the creamy-Dijon braised Brussels sprouts I made for an after-Thanksgiving dinner party last year, and a new cranberry technique – an uncooked relish with lime and bourbon. My sister is making a pecan pie, complete with her signature gluten-free pie crust that you’d never guess was gluten-free. Don’t tell my sister (I already had to convince her we NEEDED the green bean casserole), but I’m thinking that we’d be remiss not to have a pumpkin pie on the table, and I am probably going to burn the midnight oil making one tonight. I don’t even like pumpkin pie (or any pie for that matter – shhh, I KNOW) but now that I’m in the zone it seems silly to leave it (and the iconic can of Redi-Whip) out. I’m truly hopeful that this meal is going to blow my mind, and that I’ll be joining the chorus of die-hard Thanksgiving fans who sing the praises of this meal so beautifully. It really might – a lot of these are tried-and-true recipes we’ve used for non-Thanksgiving dinner parties that I already know I love. I think it’s really going to come down to the turkey, and based on my research, the dry-brine thing is a winner. Cross your fingers, and let me know what kind of Thanksgiving you are having this year!

Cocktail
http://acozykitchen.com/cranberry-thyme-gin-tonic/

Beer and wine: assortment. I like Pinot Noir with turkey, but I’ll have some white on hand, too.

Turkey
http://www.latimes.com/features/food/thanksgiving/la-fo-turkey19-2008nov19,0,5791531.story#axzz2lmbbR9My

http://www.latimes.com/features/food/thanksgiving/la-fo-saltedturkey,0,5687234.story#axzz2lmbbR9My

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/garlic-and-herb-dry-brine

Gravy
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2013/11/giblet-gravy/

Mashed potatoes
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/11/delicious_creamy_mashed_potatoes/

Stuffing
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/11/stuffing_dressing_my_favorite_thanksgiving_food/

Sweet potato biscuits
http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/11/sweet-potato-and-marshmallow-biscuits/

Cranberry relish
http://www.bhg.com/recipe/cranberry-lime-relish/

Brussels sprouts
http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/11/dijon-braised-brussels-sprouts/

Green bean casserole
http://www.frenchs.com/recipe/green-bean-casserole-and-variations-RE0277

Pecan pie
Pumpkin pie (maybe)

On Eggs.

I have four very specific, early memories of eating eggs. All are from when I was four or five years old. I remember eating fried eggs at the dining room table at 1073 Allston Road in Cleveland Hts., Ohio with my dad. The eggs were fried the way my dad would later teach me to fry eggs: in a pan of hot fat (butter, oil, or on special occasions- BACON FAT) on med-low heat. When the whites are mostly cooked, tip the pan carefully so that you can spoon the hot fat over the egg until a nice film forms over the yolk. My dad served the perfectly fried eggs with "soldiers" - a piece of toast cut into half-inch strips, perfect for dipping in the runny yolk. But I so vividly remember that on that same morning he also taught me that if you ever were without bread, the proportion of white to yolk was just right to dip your bites of the white INTO the yolk and never have a bite of one without the other. He had me eat one of my fried eggs with the toast "soldiers" and the second practicing taking the right amount of white and yolk together to eat the egg just right. In retrospect, his upbringing in post-war England is strikingly obvious, but at the time I truly learned it as a lesson - we were lucky to have bread. Perhaps most children of fathers born in the UK in the 1940s learned to count their blessings in a similar fashion. Brilliant parenting, if you ask me.

My second memory is my dad making me soft-boiled eggs and serving them in egg cups, while simultaneously introducing me to great literature, religious warfare, and satire by using it as an opportunity to discuss Gulliver's Travels, big-endians, and little-endians. "But that's so silly," I probably would have said when he explained that deciding a right and wrong end from which to crack open your soft-boiled egg (by tapping it demurely with a knife, of course) was reason for a divide between people. "That's the bloody point," he probably would have said.

I learned the upside of differing opinions via this third memory: my cousin Pam, 3.5 years my elder and the person I looked up to and loved more than just about anyone in the whole wide world, to whom I'd later pen long hand-written letters during my teenage years and save quarters to call from the pay phone outside of Dublin High School, with whom I'd share a real "Best Friends" split-heart necklace eventually, my cousin Pam and I were sitting against the wall in my playroom at Allston Road, each with our own hard-boiled egg. "I don't like the yolks," Pam said. "I don't like the whites!" I responded, gleefully. The answer was clear. Two yolks for me, two whites for Pam, and we could get back to playing the imaginary world we had decided upon together and were functioning in quite happily until my mom interrupted us with this annoying thing called lunch. 

Christmas Dinner with a Side of Emotions, 2012

The toast I meant to give last night, for Christmas dinner: 

"Life can be hard.
Life can be challenging.
Life is also precarious.
And ultimately fleeting.

Life is also be full of beauty, and wonder, and grace, and love. And it is up to us to witness it... or not.

So as we sit down to this meal together again - after a year of ups and downs (like most years, I'd say),
I simply ask that you make the choice to be here, now. To be present to each bite, each laugh, each moment. To try just for a short while to let go of everything else - stress, anxiety, worry - and to be here, and experience this meal and the joy of each others company. The beauty is here- right here, right now. The least we can do is try to be here, too.

Cheers to right NOW! To good food, great wine, and family! Let's eat!"

This is the toast I gave last night, for Christmas dinner:

Life can be....oh my fucking GOD, I'm going to cry! Shit. Shit. I'm crying. Okay, okay, okay (my 3-year old niece, Lily, is having a meltdown stage left and screaming) -oh, come here Lily, give this toast with me... (picking Lily up, now holding Lily AND a glass of champagne)....
Okay, so life can be hard. But life is also full of.... (cry, clear throat, sniff, sniff)... so you guys know life is hard, duh, okay - I'm sorry, am I being too emotional? Oh my GOD.. okay, so I wanted to quote Annie Dillard - to paraphrase her - that beauty and grace are performed whether we will or sense them - the least we can do is try to be there - (sniff...) I just really love you guys, so here's to being here, you know....now.... I love you all.... (tears....Now I sit down awkwardly with Lily in my lap, who proceeds to have another meltdown, weeping "where MY dinner....")


Geez. Christmas making me all nostalgic and grateful and emotional and shit. Whoa. =)

2012 Menu 
Sunday, December 23, 4pm

Cocktail hour (4-6pm)

• Candy cane cocktail (vanilla vodka, white chocolate liquor, peppermint schnapps) 
• Cheese board
• Olives
• Linda McCartney's Green Herb dip with crudités

Appetizer (6pm)

• Confit of pork belly (form Thomas Keller's Ad Hoc at Home)
• Broccoli rabe sauteed with garlic and red pepper flakes (Ad Hoc at Home)
• Champagne

Impromptu Cocktail hour to buy time because Hilary the POTATOES messes up the timing (7-8pm) 

• Scotch or bourbon over smoked ice (Bruce made the ice from Bon Appetit you can read about here!)

Main Course (8pm)

The roast BEFORE going in the oven...

• Standing rib roast (4 ribs/10 pounds). *Salted, left uncovered in refrigerator overnight. Brought to room temperature for two hours, cooked low and slow at 200 degrees for about 4.5 hours to a perfect medium rare - about 125 degrees. Rested 1.5 hours. Blasted at 500 degrees for 10 minutes before carving for perfect golden, salty crispy crust. I don't feel like I can take credit for how well this roast turned out. It was the best I think we've ever had, and I think it was because the meat from Fresh Market was really high quality.
• Horseradish cream (Ad Hoc at Home) *This was SO much better than the sour cream version I usually make. It's so worth it to seek out the Sherry vinegar and whip it up yourself. Best new addition (other than pork belly, of course!)
• Yorkshire pudding *This was my first year making it gluten free and even the non-gluten free folks liked it better than last year!
• Mashed potatoes (Pioneer Woman) *If you make these the night before just note that they take longer to heat through than she says,even if you do bring them to room temperature for 3 hours - word to the wise! This threw my timing off big time. We were supposed to eat at 7pm. Luckily the combination of the pork belly to start and Bruce distracting everyone with his magical smoked ice saved the day!
• Brussels sprouts two ways: whole roasted (Ina Garten) and shredded sauteed with pecans and cranberries (Alton Brown)
• Caramelized creamed pearl onions (Tyler Florence)
• Sweet potato biscuits with marshmallows (Smitten Kitchen) *Also gluten free, and also an enormous hit with the non-gluten free folks!
• Carrots
• Wine (I chose a cabernet sauvignon to pair with the meat) or beer (my dad is allergic to wine!).

After Dinner Drink (10pm)

• Glogg with almonds and raisins *a gift from Christi's mom, Tina, who was with us last year! We missed you!

Dessert (11pm)

• Flourless chocolate cake with ice cream and raspberries
• Coffee

Yes, this was an EVENT, to be sure. Exhausting. Thrilling. Relatively successful. I think my mom would have been proud. =)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

The Color is GREEN!

In my continual online perusal of all things yoga related, I happened across something on Yogaanonymous the other day that has me lusting for backbends, excitedly making plans to make all those juicy (terrifying) heart-openers the focus of my practice again.

I went through a big backbending revolution at the beginning of 2011 and even took a workshop with the iconic Kathryn Budig in early April. I was determined to open myself up to life, to love, to connection, to other people... and then I started to feel too open, too vulnerable, and that fall I quickly retreated to the safety of my beloved forward-folds. The place I'm most comfortable: with myself.

Can you be an extroverted introvert? Or like...a closet introvert? I think I am both. I'm vivacious in social situations - bubbly, overly-enthusiastic, loud (LOUD!!! I'm REALLY loud. Seriously. It's embarrassing) and full of energy, but I actually feel the most comfortable and the most safe when I'm ALL. BY. MYSELF. Answering only to me. Completely alone. If I wasn't such a wuss about nature (I know, I KNOW), and if I didn't have such an aversion to camping, I think I could go into the woods for a weekend alone, no problem. In fact, right now, I think it would be heaven to check into one of those lake lodge rooms and spend the weekend outside. (Avoiding all ticks, bugs, snakes, etc. of course). I'd take a yoga mat, a journal, a few bottles of wine and a good bottle of scotch, comfortable clothes and LOTS of blankets. Turn my phone off. Leave the computer at home. Disappear for a bit. Oy, that sounds FABULOUS.

BUT RIGHT. The point is I need to open my heart again - be more open to the world and the people in it - so I'm TRYING. I joined an online book club my friend Emily invited to me and I even sent an EMAIL with some thoughts about the book and tried not to worry too much if the people on the other end of the email would think I was TOTALLY NOT SMART AT ALL!!! (This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. I LOVVVVED it). And I'm reaching out to friends and trying to say yes more than I say no. (I resent Josh Radnor a little bit for putting cutie-yet-smoldering-Zac Efron in my brain telling me "Fortune never smiles on those who say no" all god damned day, every day. JESUS, little Zac Efron, LEAVE ME ALONE! He also tells me to "BE LOVE!" too, but that one I don't resent as much).

Oh! So the thing from Yoganonymous was in an article is called "Yoga Research: Five Proven Facts That Make Yoga Awesome" by Ashley Josephine:

This may be the biggest breakthrough of all for practical application and yoga language. There are 12 pairs of nerves in the brain that control motor and sensory function, but one of those nerve pairs is extra special—it takes on double duty and controls both at the same time. It starts from the brain and moves down either side of the neck connecting first at the heart.

Called the vagus nerve, or wandering nerve, this little guy connects with every major organ in the body. The nervous system works by being stimulated through chemical and electrochemical stimulation, but also responds to mechanical stimulation. Thus, when you do a heart opening posture, you’re mechanically stimulating the vagus nerve. When you take a deep breath into the kidneys, you’re mechanically stimulating the vagus nerve. And when you pull your leg into your chest, you’re mechanically stimulating that wondrous nerve.

When this nerve is stimulated, signals are sent to the organs to control function. For example, research now proves that yoga can increase your variable heart rate, which leads to overall greater health. Rather than expecting your heart rate to beat at exactly the same intervals, it is optimal for some variability to occur between each beat (we’re talking thousandths of a second here).

It makes sense when you think about it. If your heart beats with the same amount of time in between each pump, you’ve conditioned your body to perform in a very specific state all the time. What happens when you enter into a new state? You freak out. But, if there is some variability, you’ve actually conditioned your body to respond to a variety of different situations. In other words, you’re able to deal with whatever comes at you. That is why when we backbend and breathe deeply, we stimulate the vagus nerve, which sends signals to the heart to increase variability (motor function).
 

Okee DOKEE. Got it. For someone who has been having weird bouts of hypochondria and anxiety and even had a few panic attacks this calendar year, finding out that I can condition my body to NOT FREAK OUT in a variety of different situations and deal with whatever comes at me is really compelling. Where do I sign up? Oh, right. That YOGA THING I signed up for, unknowingly, when I was 18 and bought Patricia Walden's Yoga for Beginngers VHS (yes, children - VHS) tape.

So my sadhana this week is going to focused on backbending, the heart chakra, and the color GREEN. Wait, who remembers the seed sound for the heart chakra and can tell me! (Oh, how I can reminisce about Devarshi's amazing circle sadhana during YTT with all of that chanting!!! Sooooo amazing! I wish my students wouldn't freak out if I started om-ing up a storm every single class).

And if you take class with me this week, you'll probably see a little more backbending than I normally teach. I got a message in a yoga nidra cloud* a few weeks ago that told me to "do something different" (luckily I hadn't seen Liberal Arts at this point, or my cloud would have been a he's-too-damn-young-to-be-so-strangely-attractive Zac Efron telling me "fortune never smiles on those who say no" - seriously. IT WON'T STOP!) and I've been trying:

• I got my nose pierced. WHAT A REBEL.
• I've made some dietary changes; namely cutting all grains out of my diet except for a little bit of quinoa. For me this basically means exchanging gluten-free bread and pasta for starchy veg like sweet potatoes and squash. I've also cut out cow's dairy and only occasionally have goat's or sheep's milk dairy. It's sort of a paleo-ish-but-OBVIOUSLY-I'm-not-giving-up-wine-and-chocolate/gluten-free hybrid sorta thing. And once a week I cheat, like - FRENCH FRIES cheat).
• I've made exercise changes by increasing the intensity of my intervals and adding back non-yoga strength training.

So the next change: backbends. Practice and teach more of them. I do think that I skimp on the backbends in my classes for selfish reasons and I need to challenge myself there. One of my most regular students (she literally comes to a minimum of seven of my classes a week) asked me to teach yoga mudra because she hates yoga mudra. I ALSO HATE YOGA MUDRA. My shoulders don't like to cooperate with yoga mudra. I feel slightly embarrassed that I'm the teacher and I prefer to use a strap. I know that should be a good thing - reality yogi and all of that - but...BLARGH. It's sort of the same with backbends. So yeah - this week. Backbends and Yoga Mudra. Totes awesome. (I'm glad I ordered myself a sampler pack of Nikki's Coconut Butter the other day. I'll use it as a reward for going out of my comfort zone this week. Someone call Geneen Roth about my use of food as reward. Yes, I've read all of her books. No, I'm not changing my mind about the coconut butter, thankyouverymuch).

Who wants to open their heart with me this week? The only requirement is one dance party to Open Your Heart by Madonna, and then you're in the Hilary's Heart-Opening Club. Send me a video of your dance party and you get a PRIZE! I'm going to try to remember to post some links to practices that will help people open their heart at home, and also document a few of the classes that I teach to be used as home practices. I have no idea if anyone has ever done the sequences I post on my blog (see above: Reality Yogi Sequences) but just in case. =)

JAI!!

*I had a friend once get really excited about my zodiac situation (triple-Pisces) and then apologize by saying "sorry I got all woo-woo on you." I had never heard that term, but I liked it. And four years later, I am apparently the "woo-woo" one, because I just typed something about a message from a yoga nidra cloud with complete sincerity. ;)

 

On Food: Eating to Live, Living a Life that FEELS GOOD.

I haven't ever talked about going gluten-free on my blog. I felt almost ashamed, like I was jumping on board one more ridiculous fad diet (no, really, let's have coffee and talk about my 20s. I've done them ALL). But now that I've been wheat/gluten free for almost seven months, with no real intention of ever going back, I'm ready to talk about it. Just in case you were on the market for ramblings from your favorite reality-yogi. :) To be continued- for now a placeholder to upload some photos!

seared tuna steak with white and black sesame seeds.

lunch at my desk: salad of massaged kale dressed with lemon and olive oil, leftover asparagus, zucchini, squash and filet mignon, raw almonds. some people add mayo to anything and call it a salad - i think a salad is anything i can mix up in bowl all together and eat with a spoon. ;)

google the health benefits of coconut oil. i guarantee you'll soon buy some.

my morning smoothies make me feel confident that if nothing else, i'm getting a huge hit of nutrients and plenty of fruits and leafy green veg at least once a day. i usually throw between six and eight fruits and veges (always starting with kale and/or collards and blending with coconut water) into my friend the ninja and drink it up.

roasted pork loin (high quality meat) with roasted apples in a mustard glaze, carrots roasted in coconut oil, kale and collards sauteed in grapeseed oil with garlic. this is a plate of leftovers. you should have seen in the night of. YUM.

you can't beat the wine flight at the crowded house. three four-ounce pours for seven dollars and change. i kid you not.

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this is the new machine at the gym. i'm fairly certain that it is an accident waiting to happen for me. i have visions of tripping down the stairs and face planting. i think i'll stick with the machines closer to the ground. =)

my girl, christi.

multi-tasking! kale and collards- some for the smoothie, some for making braised greens ahead of time for dinner that night.

you have to have fun. girl's night.

you are not going to BELEIVE THIS CAKE. rhian gets all of the credit for finding the recipe. it's grain free, soy free, dairy/casein free, gluten free....and it is probably the best flourless chocolate cake i've EVER HAD. you won't believe it.

i actually took this pic to show my girl, molly, that i still wear the scarf she gave to me almost three years ago when i was visiting her in southern california. that trip was where my dream of becoming a yoga teacher took shape. as a side-note, i got my nose pierced a week ago and only one person in my day to day life, outside of my immediate family, noticed. Huh??? It just looks that natural? Or is it so horrifying everyone is ignoring it?? ;)