Aim True - Day 13

Lord have mercy, I'm counting points again.

Yep, I bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers online this week. I guess my aim really is starting to get a little more focused, and three weeks of solid yoga practice has me ready to make all sorts of little shifts and changes in my life.

I'm pretty good at eating healthy, whole foods. I eat lots of vegetables and whole grains and fish and such. But I'm not so good at portion control or saying no to mindless snacking, and I seem to have lost my touch when it comes to meal planning. I think it's because as of late my schedule has left me without a lot of time for actual meals, unless they are ready ahead of time, which has turned into me snacking all day between classes and working and then eating WAAAY too much at night. And this has left me not feeling my best.

So I've joined Weight Watchers for the 7 millionth time in my life, and I'm counting those pesky little points. Did you know that a Lara bar has six points?!? That's more than I would have expected. Tonight for dinner I had Kripalu Vegetarian Lentil Loaf and Millet Cauliflower Mash. (And some spinach and avocado! Yummy!) I dig that the WW program lets you enter entire recipes and then find out how many points are in each portion. (The Lentil Loaf has six points per serving and the Millet Cauliflower Mash has five points per serving, just in case you were curious!) I have mad respect for the fact that Weight Watchers assigns most fruits and vegetables ZERO points. As a big advocate of vegetables, I think this encourages people to eat more of them, and not bank their points for wine. (Who would THINK of something like that?!? ;)

Onto the yoga.


Heat and Fire Flow
Vinyasa Flow 
Level 2/3
Kathryn Budig

A 2/3 flow class sprinkled with arm balance and inversion goodness. Flow through a well rounded class with peaks of heat and fire the dive into the goodness of forward folds and a well deserved savasana. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on June 8, 2010, I took it for the first time today.
• 13/86 classes completed.
• 7/13 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far:  

• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core

Practice felt good tonight. Really good, in fact. I keep forgetting that I'm feeling better and stronger, and end up pleasantly surprised when the first few sun salutations feel like locking into something I know and understand and not like torture.

I even spent ten minutes after I finished the class practicing Ujjayi breath, and then I spent ten more minutes in seated meditation. My pranayama practice felt REALLY deep and cleansing.

So I'm starting the fourth week of 2012 feeling recommitted not just to my yoga practice but to a healthier lifestyle that honors my physical body. 

Onward!

Intention.

I am recommitting myself to the connections I made, internally and externally, during my yoga teacher training at Kripalu. I don't feel that I've written enough yet about my immense personal growth over the course of the month or the insights I gained, and I need to reconnect with these things before I completely forget and can't figure out how to remind myself in the darker moments.

And that's just it - I'm trying to embrace those darker moments. Devarshi and Priti encouraged us to live in and with our own darkness - it's part of self-observation without judgment - the very definition of Kripalu yoga. Yoga, this beautiful and ancient science meaning UNION ...of body, mind and spirit. Being completely and authentically aware doesn't only mean being aware of the happy, flowy, feel-good stuff, but it also means being absolutely tuned into to the other side of it all...the UNhappy, not at ALL flowy (what's the opposite of flowy?) feel-bad stuff...and knowing that it's okay, too. It all just IS.

Sometimes I hear a strange mixture of Stephen Cope's voice, Devarshi's voice and Priti's voice, with a hint of my OWN voice, asking: Can you be okay in THIS moment with exactly how it is? Can you be okay in THIS moment with exactly who you are? Can you connect through your breath, through prana - life-force - with your own divine nature and honor your connection to spirit? Can you ride the wave of whatever emotion you're experiencing and find out that letting yourself go into the darkness won't actually kill you? That you'll come out the otherside in one piece?

Yes. Yes. Yes. You really can. You can go there - all the way there - and find that little child version of you who only wants to be loved and accepted, and you can love and accept her. And then FORGIVE her.

____
*I'm excited about the logistical details of this recommitting, which include restructuring my schedule with a 90-minute morning sadhana as the priority, even if it means getting up at 6:30am every day, as well as a minimum of 20-minutes of evening meditation. The answers are in the practice, I think. My friend Kelly's business website says "your yoga becomes you. you rediscover you." It's true. On every breath.


Jai Bhagwan.