Food, Panic Attacks, and Aiming True.

This is a heavy blog post. To deflect that a little bit, I will be interspersing it with photos of food I have been enjoying as of late. Who doesn't love food? 

Here I go. The typical "wow, it's been awhile, soooo much has been going on, blah blah blah, this and that and something else, now I'm going to blog again on the regular because clearly everyone has missed my updates in this little corner of the internet OH so much" post.

Except it's not.

Ezekiel bread w/ raw almond butter is my go-to breakfast.
Coconut water keeps me from cramping in yoga.

See, if you read my blog even semi-regularly, you know that I started 2012 with this little idea to take all of Kathryn Budig's YogaGlo classes and write about them. I said it wasn't a New Year's resolution. It wasn't. And I think that's key, because even though I haven't been doing Kathryn Budig's practices regularly and writing about them (or writing much at all in this blog), I haven't been failing. In fact, I've been succeeding, and in a huge way. It's BECAUSE of my Aim True challenge. I'd be remiss to not document it, if for no one else than myself. (But what I secretly hope about blogging, and especially about somewhat PAINFULLY HONEST blogging like this, is that someone out there will read it and feel just a little bit less alone in the world. I'll be honest - it scares me to put this out for public consumption. But again - here I go).

If I have more time, I <3 poached eggs! With spinach!

I called it the Aim True challenge because that is Kathryn's brand, but more importantly, it's her philosophy. At least in as much as what I can claim to know about her based on what I've read online and what I've learned taking her classes. At the time I was feeling horribly out of shape, and knew that her athletic vinyasa flow classes would help start getting me back to where I wanted to be physically. But it wasn't just about feeling out of shape (and feeling like a fraudulent yoga teacher, because really, doesn't everyone expect their yoga teacher to be perfect, especially in matters of health and wellness? Oh the PRESSURE). I knew I needed to do SOMETHING, I needed to do it IMMEDIATELY, because what I ultimately needed was CHANGE. But back in January, the amount of change I needed to make was so much that it felt overwhelming and insurmountable to even think about. So I just picked one thing to do, and I did it. Yoga. With Kathryn. Because I dig her a lot.

Mmm, hummus. Mmm, avocado. Mmm, Lunch.

Things didn't go according to the imaginary script that I had secretly already written before I even began. I sort of thought that I would just do class after class, day after day, and start getting super strong and lose a bunch of weight and start doing this whole life thing pretty much perfectly and by this point I'd have finished 40+ KB YogaGlo classes and be writing about profound insights and life-changing moments. Oh, and I'd probably have my own column in Yoga Journal and be writing for all the major yoga blogs like MindBodyGreen and Elephant Journal, and actually, Kathryn Budig herself would have probably hired me to be her personal yoga teaching assistant to travel to Bali with her to conduct transformational workshops. I'd be the "Reality Yogi" doing ToeSox ads involving clothes and Child's Pose.

Instead, by late January, after 18 of Kathryn's YogaGlo classes, I had to face the fact that this old shoulder injury I have wasn't digging on the daily vinyasa practice. Downdog to plank to chaturanga to updog to downdog is a rotator cuff nightmare if your alignment is off, OR, in my case, if you have a weak spot from injury that might never quite be the same as it was when you were 25. I had to take a break.

Ahi tuna, spinach dressed with olive oil and lemon.
With avocado. Of course. My fave lunch this week.

So I moved away from Kathryn (even though I do love her oh so much) and toward my Kripalu yoga practices. Stephen Cope's Dynamic Kripalu Yoga DVD, Danny Arguetty's audio practices, online Kripalu practices. And I recommitted to my own meditation practice. (Have I already mentioned that being a yoga teacher is hard? The pressure to practice what you preach, so to speak, is immense. And it's not even the external pressure that is hard as much as it is the internal pressure - at least for me).

So I gave the script a little rewrite. I mean, really, what kind of script doesn't have the obligatory challenge for the protagonist to overcome? The hiccup was the shoulder injury, I shifted my practice to accommodate my rhomboids, DAMNIT, so now me and yoga sail off into the sunset together as I get super strong, lose a bunch of weight, and write about profound insights and life-changing moments (and go to Bali with Kathryn). Right? Right?!?

I started having panic attacks.

This was absolutely NOT part of the script.

Grilled Ahi tuna. Homemade sweet potato fries.
Roasted green beans!

I have a part-time job to supplement my teaching, and I was sitting at my desk one day when all of the sudden I thought I was having a heart attack. I was short of breath. My chest felt tight. I was sure I was dying. There was NO rhyme or reason behind it.

And thinking I was going to die - really, truly, honestly think I was going to DIE scared the SHIT out of me.

This happened about four different times, completely out of the blue. Different times, different places, different circumstances. I saw that my local hospital was doing a free heart screening day, and it even included an ultrasound of my carotid artery. I showed up bright and early, certain I was going to learn that I was, indeed, dying of heart disease and that I didn't even HAVE a carotid artery.

Nope. My heart is a-okay. I do have a carotid artery and it has exactly 0% build-up. (I asked the lady doing the ultrasound if that was good or bad. She laughed at me).

Quinoa pasta is AMAZING. Kale with garlic.
Christmas plate in March. So?

So now I had to re-write the script yet AGAIN. I asked a close friend who knows everything about everything (I'm serious. He knows everything about everything. I'm so glad he's my friend) and who I trust implicitly for some advice. I was forthright about what was going on. And I took his advice. Little bits and pieces at a time.

Instead of relying on yoga for everything, I got back to high intensity interval training, strength training, and made some nutritional changes he recommended. I've been a RAGING insomniac for years and have gotten by; I set an 11pm bedtime, 7am wake time for myself and stuck with it. Even on the weekends (usually), I get up, I drink lemon water, I say hello to the sun, I meditate, I exercise...and THEN I have coffee. One cup. I'm incredibly mindful about what I put into my body - I do a little Michael Pollen/Weight Watchers combo that is working for me. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” (and then track the WW points. It really helps with the "not too much" part). I drink a ton of plain water - about 100 ounces a day. I keep track of my sodium (aren't iPhone apps the best?) and try to stay below 2300 mg a day.

Chimichurri salmon, roasted carrots, lemon risotto w/ cherry tomatoes.

And for the past few weeks I've slowly but surely started feeling better...and better..and better...and so much better, comparatively, that I've had moments of euphoria.

Another dear friend of mine, who I'm also so glad is my friend, and who I also trust implicitly gave me some really sage advice, though. Don't get too caught up in the euphoria. Don't be obsessive. Take the middle path. (Can anyone guess where both of these friends went to college? ;) 

And I'm still practicing yoga in some way, shape or form every day, of course, and I'm teaching 10+ classes a week. In fact, I even did a Kathryn Budig class this week, for the first time in over a month. And it was SO, so, so, so great. I had to modify some stuff for my shoulder, and I'm not going to be able to do more than one to two KB practice a week, but it was SUCH a treat.

This is me, NOT having a panic attack.
I like NOT having panic attacks, thankyouverymuch.

There is no ending. There aren't any credits. I'm not done. This is where I am right now. And I just keep praying, "Artemis, huntress of the moon, make my aim true. Give me goals to seek and the constant determination to achieve them."

Reality Yogi Aims True: Habits

February is almost over! My birthday is on Monday, February 27, which is fun, but what is even MORE exciting is that on Wednesday it's FEBRUARY 29TH! I love, love, love, love LEAP YEARS! I'm really excited that it's a Wednesday, too, because that means I lead my meditation group on the EXTRA, SPECIAL DAY we only get once every four years. It's gonna have to be a special one. =)

So the second month of 2012, and you might think I've TOTALLY failed at my Aim True challenge. Well, I haven't. (Have I struggled feeling as though I failed because I needed a break from vigorous vinyasa with Kathryn Budig? Yes.) But the reality is, I actually feel as though I'm starting to aim more and MORE true. I've still been practicing and teaching a LOT of yoga. But I've moved back toward the power of KRIPALU yoga these days, and it's incredibly therapeutic and personal. I know I'll start to work some more of Kathryn's classes into my practice, but maybe just one or two a week. I still want to finish all of her classes by the end of 2012.

In other news, but totally related, here are two habits I am starting to get a firm grasp on:

Sadhana every morning. This doesn't have to be yoga practice, although it could be. Any combination of asana, meditation, pranayama, music and silence for at least 30 minutes. I have my own little 6-motions of the spine practice/warm-up that I do (almost) every morning, which developed out of both my personal practice and my teaching, that takes all of two minutes. I try to do at least 8 to 10 minutes of some pranayama, which could be as simple as soft-belly breathing, but is usually some combination of Dirgha, Ujjayi and Nadi Shodhana. I also do a 20 minute seated breath, mala bead, or mantra meditation every morning. Right now I've gotten really into metta meditation - sending positive energy out into the world, usually toward someone specific. I was completely taken by this passage in the book The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope:

This photo has nothing to do with the passage, but was a yummy dinner.

Jake was holding the most intriguing piece for last. "Here's the most amazing thing. I discovered that there were tracks coming back the other way."

Susan knit her brow. "What?"

Rudi got it. "It means that Fiona had been praying for Jake, too. Jake found the tracks of Fiona's prayers coming back toward him."

"She has been praying for me. Praying for me for years." said Jake.

"Of course, she hasn't been praying for the right things, exactly. I mean she's been praying, I assume, that I'll get married, give up yoga. Whatever. Be a good dog. Get the Devil outta me. But I don't think it matters. It's the spirit of well-wishing itself that makes the tracks."

Jake later discovered that, indeed, Fiona had her own prayer group of Catholic ladies: the St. Mary Society. They had all been praying for Jake for years."

For some reason, perhaps oddly, this calls to mind my favorite E.E. Cummings poem.

(Oh, and I hope you ALL can feel my well wishes for you. =)

Ginger tea while I blog. =)

Ginger tea every night after supper. Signifying the end of eating for the day. This was ritualistic for me at Kripalu. There is really no snacking at Kripalu, unless you buy goodies at the little shop during the day. And I didn't. I stuck with the cafeteria food - which is pretty EXTRAORDINARY. (Okay, except for OCCASIONAL afternoon coconut waters and ginger chews. Sheesh).

Also trying to:

• Limit snacking
• Continue drinking lots of water (about 100 oz a day on a good day, um, ESPECIALLY if you include La Croix!)
• Drink a little bit LESS La Croix (just as an experiment...I was drinking at least six a day).
• Read a BOOK at least two hours a day.

Wanna know the one habit I cannot seem to get a grasp on? GOING TO BED AT A DECENT HOUR. Another one? WATCHING LESS REALITY TV. Housewives, Kardashians, Top Chef... I even got sucked into ICE LOVES FREAKIN' COCO THIS PAST WEEK! Come ON, Hilary. ;)

Tell me, tell me...what habits are YOU working on these days??

Reality Yogi: Kitchen Yoga

Sometimes it's really hard to make the time for yoga practice. Especially when it becomes one of those things - you know all about those THINGS. Things that you need very specific set of circumstances to do CORRECTLY. In my perfect yoga world, every day there would be 90 to 120 solid, consecutive minutes, falling exactly three hours after I last ate (a light, healthy, organic, free-range, local meal) in a day that I was perfectly hydrated (but for some amazing yogic reason, I wouldn't have to pee during those 90 to 120 minutes) and wearing the perfect yoga outfit (and it would have to be Lululemon from head to toe, because what is more ironic than a $300 yoga outfit?) in a room that had been smudged with (organic) white sage approximately 30 minutes before I began my practice, candles (I made myself) lit, and a perfect playlist cued up.And of course I'd be on my Manduka Black Mat Pro. Duh.

I think those exact circumstances happened once. Well, except for the Lulu outfit. Oh, and I've never made a candle in my life. And I don't have a Manduka Black Mat Pro, except I think I'm getting one for my birthday!! But yeah, something like that happened one time. In 1996. That's the ticket.

Okay, it never happened.

And let's face it - it probably never will.

But you don't need the perfect amount of time, the perfect space, the expensive mat, and definitely not the $300 yoga outfit to practice YOGA. You can practice yoga anytime, anywhere.

Today I did some yoga in my kitchen. In between folding laundry and drinking coffee. And thinking about how I need to start eating more celery because it's supposed to be good for your heart, or at least that's what I read in some magazine yesterday.

Luckily the beauty of yoga is that I stopped thinking about celery for a hot second and had a very fleeting moment of blissful peace and concentration.

You can, too.

• Stand with your feet a little wider than hip with apart. 
• Being to twist, allowing the arms to gain momentum like empty coat sleeves of a trench coat draped over your shoulders. Lift the opposite heel as you look behind you. 
• Coordinate it with some strong pranayama practice - a sharp inhale through the nose as you come through center, a forceful "HA" breath out the mouth as you twist. 
• Let the momentum build and build, and let your hands hit you wherever they may (it's probably somewhere you have a big concentration of lymph nodes, and they need a love tap now and then!) 
• Continue for a minute or two, then let the momentum slow down, like the battery in the toy is slowly dying.
• When you are finally still, notice how you feel. Breathe deeply. 

This incredibly simple twist is SO therapeutic and beneficial. It's a nice squeeze and soak for all of the organs in the abdomen - flooding them with freshly oxygenated blood, and it also keeps the spine supple and creates space for all of the nerves traveling out of the spine to the rest of the body. Hooray! 

Or go throw on your Lulu clothes, roll out that Manduka, light the candles, smudge the room and have that perfect, enlightening two hour practice. I'm jealous already. ;)

Love,
The Reality Yogi

Reality Yogi: Deep Relief for Aching Shoulders

Start in SUKASANA. Bring the attention to the breath. Do it again. Do it again. Everytime you notice that the mind has wandered, bring the attention back to the breath. Do it again. Again.

BREATHE. Deeply. Dirgha-Ujjayi if you dig it. Five minutes. Or more.

GENTLE RESTORATIVE CHEST OPENER on a folded blanket. Knees bent, soles of the feet on the floor. Knees fall together, feet apart. Five minutes. Ore more.

CHEST OPENER ON TWO BLOCKS. Legs in BADDHA KONASANA. Breathe. Breathe some more.

Table - cat/dog spine stretch.

Step one foot through. KNEE-DOWN LUNGE. Arms up. Drop arms down like you could reach the edges of the mat. Work the heart center forward, shoulders down. Breathe.

WIDE STANCE DOWNWARD FACING DOG. Floss the shoulders - drop the heart through. Moving toward 5-point pose.

Walk back to STANDING FOWARD FOLD - UTTANASANA.

SLOWLY roll up to stand.

TADASNA. Raise arms for FULL UPWARD SALUTE.

STANDING YOGA MUDRA ARMS with or without a strap. Shimmy and floss the shoulders. Repeat at least two times. Three for good measure. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Standing. Release the neck with a positional therapy move: bring one arm over the head, droping the inside of the elbow onto the head and leaning the head toward the raised arms. Repeat on the other side.

SAVASANA. Relax. Let go.

Reality Yogi: Bummertown (A Lapse In Practice)

I don't want to be that blogger. You know, the one who just drops off the face of the planet after being REALLY amped about something. I feel like I AM not only that blogger, though, but I'm also that GIRL in real life. And I don't want to be her. 

So I need to follow-through.

The upside: I think my path of yoga is the first thing I've REALLY followed through on in a long time. I mean, let's face it, I can track this practice in my life with more consistency and detail then I can track much else in my life.
The downside: After writing almost as many blog entries in one month of 2012 as I did in ALL of 2011, I'm feeling pressured to keep it up. And this week I just haven't felt good. I've been outrunning a cold, and so outside of teaching, work, more teaching, and more work, and trying to stay caught up on my life (and all the while stay sane) I just haven't been able to make my practice a priority. First of all, pranayama is such an essential part of my practice, and I've just been so damn congested that I CAN'T freakin' breathe through my nose. Which is a royal pain in the ass when you're trying to rock some Ujjayi and Nadi Shodhana.

So instead of practicing yoga (outside of teaching all of my classes, and demonstrating quite a bit, which I guess for non-yoga people would be more yoga than they would ever do in a week - so maybe I'm being too hard on myself?) I've been trying to stay on my Weight Watchers plan and I've been drinking Airborne three times a day, two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar 1 to 2 times a day, and 2 teaspoons of elderberry syrup 2 times a day. I've also been taking my multi-vitamin and 1000 mg vitamin C every day. And I feel like it's WORKING - I'm not getting any sicker, and I'm not FEELING bad, but I'm not getting rid of this congestion and cough.

All my remedies may never work, though, because I'm also wondering if it's not this CRAZY weather making my body go crazy. This is the mildest winter I have EVER experienced. And for as much as I have appreciated not having to try to drive down snow covered roads that have never, ever seen a plow (the road clearing situation where I live is RIDICULOUS) it's also making feel a little bit anxious.

So I'm heading into the weekend (my Aim True weeks run Monday-Sunday) and I've yet to do a single Kathryn Budig practice. Well, outside of that 15 minute shoulder practice on Monday. Yikes.

But this is the honest, authentic update - this is my reality, and I want to be a reality yogi more than anything.

Maybe tomorrow afternoon I'll be able to practice! I hope so!!

Shanti.

Update: I think I'm going to do a Level 1 Anusara practice with Tara Judelle. It's not part of the Aim True challenge, but it's just what I feel as though I NEED today. xo

Update #2: What I actually did on Friday afternoon was a Moderate/Vigorous online Kripalu class with my YTT teacher, Devarshi. Hit the spot. =)

Aim True - Day 18

Happy Shoulders
Restorative
Level 1
Kathryn Budig

This everyday shoulder sequence is a great way to help flexibility and release build up tension from the day. Put this into your daily routine to keep happy, open shoulders. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on January 21, 2012, I took the class for the first time today.
• 18/87 classes complete.
• 10/18 I had taken at least once before.

I had seen this on YogaGlo for the past week, and sort of figured it was a play on the sequence that Kathryn has had up on YouTube for a couple of years. I actually have the YouTube version of this posted on my website (and I'll include it below, too) because I teach the sequence fairly often and always hear from my students that it's exceedingly helpful for them - so I wanted them to have easy access to practice it at home, too.

I actually had no intention of practicing today, but yesterday my shoulders and neck started feeling kind of tweeked and bothered, and this class is only fifteen minutes, so I went ahead and did it - in my pajamas instead of yoga clothes, no mat in sight.

Here is my confession - although I teach and (try to remember to) practice these shoulder openers fairly often, I hate them. Why? Because I'm not good at them. Don't be too alarmed, but just because I teach yoga doesn't mean that everything about yoga comes easily to me. I like things that I am good at doing; any pose that showcases my limber hips and hamstrings or my super strong quads rocks my world. It's not even showing off for other people, I swear - because of where I live, I almost only practice alone. I suppose it's showing off for myself in some way, shape or form. But I'd guess most people gravitate toward, and enjoy more, things that they are good at doing. I majored in political science and minored in religion in college because I liked the classes. And part of the reason I liked the classes was because I was better at writing and talking about political theory and world religions than I was at doing chemistry.

I'd be interested if other people find this to be an intense sequence. It probably depends on how open your shoulders and arms are. I'm in the midst of an inquiry surrounding my shoulders. I may have mentioned in an earlier post that I've recently come to the conclusion that though I can force my arms into something that looks like yoga mudra arms (fingers interlaced behind the back, arms pressed toward straight and then up and away from the body) I don't think I was actually in any semblance of proper alignment, and I think I was putting crazy pressure on my elbow joints to get there. And I can't clasp my hands in Gomukhasana arms to save my life - I have to grab onto my clothes or use a strap. Oh well.

It bothers me a lot, though, my lack of openness in my shoulders. I am insanely jealous of how incredibly open Kathryn Budig is in her shoulders (she's actually ridiculously flexible everywhere, let's be honest.) My ex-boyfriend also had incredibly open shoulders - in fact, I think he could choose to dislocate them and then put them back somehow - but that was kind of weird to see. But alas, I wasn't blessed with that ability, which probably means I need to be doing this 15 minute class every single day.  And I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to do this sequence on my own every night.

Here is the shorter (and free!) YouTube version of the above class. Let me know if you get a lot of stretch and sensation with these shoulder openers!

Aim True - Day 17

Monday, January 30, 2012

Get Grounded Amid Chaos Yoga
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig


Get grounded and create roots regardless of the chaos around you. Find your roots through strong standing poses such as Tree, Half Moon and standing Warriors and Side Angle. Feel safe, strong and stable after this strong, classic flow. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on November 18, 2010, I took the class for the first time on December 23, 2010.
• 17/87 classes complete.
• 10/17 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far: 
• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core
• Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig
• Yoga to Change Your Perspective with Kathryn Budig
• Get Grounded Amid Chaos Yoga

This one. This is the one. This is one of the very first Kathryn Budig classes that I took and why I fell in love with her teaching style. This is DEFINITELY going on the FAVORITES list.

(As an aside, does anyone else remember the wine tasting episode on Absolutely Fabulous, where Patsy and Edina keep drinking wine saying "THIS one! THIS ONE! This is the one! Wait, did we like this one? Let's try it again. Wait! No! THIS ONE. This is the one!" and so on and so forth... I'm starting to feel like that about how many practices are ending up on my Favorite list!)

Aim True - First Month Wrap-Up

Jai! Jai! Jai!

Aiming true with more green smoothies!

The first month of my Aim True Challenge 2012 is almost done. In fact, it's been exactly four weeks today since 2012 began, and there are only two days left in January. What a different experience this January has been for me than those of the past. In some ways it has still been a tough month for me, but not quite in the same ways that it has been in prior years, and this time around having the focus of my yoga practice with specific plans and goals (including writing about it in this very blog!) really changed the way it felt, all for the better.

Sitting here with a space heater, fuzzy socks and ginger tea to warm me, I present my January stats! (My heat isn't working and won't be fixed until tomorrow. I'm going to be under 10,000 blankets watching movies soon.) 

January, 2012

• 16/87 Kathryn Budig YogaGlo classes completed.
• 9/16 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True (Kathryn Budig) practices so far:  
• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core
• Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig
• Yoga to Change Your Perspective with Kathryn Budig
• 21 total personal yoga practices completed.
• Additional yoga practices this year: 
• Felicia Tomasko's Wipe The Slate Clean Yin class 
• Kripalu Restorative Yoga class 
• Public Hatha class at the YMCA with Beverly
• Kripalu Moderate Flow Yoga audio practice
• Danny Arguetty Moderate Kripalu Yoga Audio Practice
• Professionally: have taught 37 yoga classes and four meditation classes in 2012 as a Kripalu-certified RYT.

Aiming true with glorious steamed artichokes!

I remain convinced that a strong personal practice of yoga is a stepping stone to wonderful things - transformation in your life for the better in ways you didn't necessarily realize you wanted and needed. This is the magic of yoga and this is why it works in a way that other fitness practices do not (at least for me!) - it's truly something you do on the mat as a launching pad for your life off the mat. Maybe this is what makes it a spiritual practice. I have the experience in other forms of physical activity to back this comparison up, too. I have been a cardio-junkie, a regular at both Jazzercise and step aerobics back in the early 90s, a walker, even training for (and walking in) the 39-mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I spent many an afternoon in the spinning room, have done all the machines at the gym,, been at Bikram five times a week, followed a very regimented and intense strength and interval training program called Turbulence Training, been the queen of Tae-Bo, and put Jillian's 30-day shred in my DVD player numerous times. Through it all, what I've come back to again and again is my practice of yoga - this beautiful balance of strength, cardio and flexibility. And when I commit to my sadhana of  yoga, I start to see positive changes in my life that I didn't even plan for or have to force to happen. Life just starts to blossom. I start to make better choices. I start to take better care of myself. I become activity engaged - in a soft, safe way - with this overwhelming, confusing reality of being ALIVE.

Aiming true with a focus on fruits and veggies!

The most obvious and measurable step I've taken as an outgrowth of my practice so far is to join Weight Watchers online, a decision that has provided me a lot of comfort and stability this week. Being able to count points and make good food choices gives me a sense of control that I really value. I'd like to lose some more weight, and I want to do it in a compassionate, reasonable way. It isn't that I was making lots of bad food choices as much as I was choosing to eat too much. I read a great quote the other day that said "If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution." Amen and amen. I don't know exactly when it happened, but my practice led me to taking action toward this goal of healthy, compassionate weight loss. I've become reinvigorated and excited about healthy cooking, revisited my love affair with vegetables (yesterday I roasted beets, carrots and broccoli and steamed artichokes, all to have on hand for quick, healthy meals) and have been paying a lot of attention to keeping up on the latest information on nutrition and health. I've cut down my caffeine to one cup of coffee or latte a day (Nick would be so proud!) and quit doing things that have a negative impact on my health and well-being. And I've actually managed to get almost eight hours of sleep a night this past week! (Something else Nick would be proud of!)

Aiming true with Artemis!

It's fitting. This entire Aim True challenge slowly presented itself to me because of how much Kathryn Budig's story of how she found strength through the Greek goddess, Artemis, resonated with me. You should read it. I love the first line of the prayer to Artemis that Kathryn found, and I've had it as my "info" on Facebook for months: Artemis, huntress of the moon, make my aim true. Give me goals to seek and the constant determination to achieve them.

I joke with my students all of the time that they can set an intention to have intention, and that's perfectly okay. Your intention in yoga practice, if you have one, doesn't have to be something lofty or profound. It can be as simple as having intention. I can't tell you the number of times in class, when directed to set an intention for my practice, I have thought "my intention is just to find some freakin' intention!" (it's second only to "My intention is my breath. Focus on the breath. Nothing more or less. Breath.") It's not so much that I lack things I want to do, see, achieve, accomplish, and check off an imaginary list. It's that I have TOO many things on too many lists, and I get overwhelmed and start feeling paralyzed. I need help discerning which goals I should seek. And after one full month of this focus, I know my first goal is the inquiry of optimal living, and specifically how good health supports optimal living, and how my choices support good health.

So, Jai! Jai! Jai! to you, to me, to all beings. As I continue to choose to be actively engaged in my life, I wish you the aim to be actively engaged in yours. And peace. I wish myself and you and all beings peace. Om. Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

*photo of Artemis from Kathryn Budig's Elephant Journal article.

Things I Love Sunday

Jackie on the left, Marie on the right.

This is a tribute to my dear friend Jacqueline Saxby, who has SO much courage and drive that she is on her way to China for 18 months, no doubt to make the world a better place. I've not been in touch with her very often as of late, but I think of her a lot, and send her lots of good energy and love. (Same with many other Kripalu loves, actually!!)

Jackie sends emails every Thursday to a group of people listing things she loves. It's really a nice snapshot of what is going on in her life every week, and even though I don't respond very often, I do read and appreciate them. She calls it TILT: Things I Love Thursday. Maybe it's a thing? Maybe lots of people do this? I might be behind on the "things" these days. I've not been keeping up with Whole Living magazine and Yoga Journal, I suppose. =)

Om, shanti, anyway. Right?

Kripalu Yoga Teacher Training, August 2010.

In any event, in honor of Jackie, I dedicate my (Kripalu Yoga Teacher Danny Arguetty audio) practice to her safe travels and exciting next chapter. And I am going to spend five full minutes before I practice writing my own Things I Love Sunday, or more like "things that are on my mind and making me feel really excited and happy!" (Yes. Sparkling water IS often on my mind and it does make me happy. Six times a day.)

water. weight watchers points giving me a sense of control. the inquiry of optimal living. the results of consistent and disciplined PRACTICE. roasting vegetables. sunshine in january. thumb hooks. la croix. letting go and creating space. space heaters. mala beads. routine. potential. feeling. being alive. considering impulsive decisions because you supposedly regret what you don't more than what you DO do. safe space. holding space for other people to step into their fullness six days a week, whether they are there for that reason or not. savasana. getting more sleep. eating healthier. facing demons. making peace with me. trying to re-open my heart to other people after a series of disappointments. setting goals. cleansing. releasing. sisters. nieces. family. friends. feeling happy. knowing that sacred, silent space you find in your head during an intense vinyasa practice. the sacred feeling of kripalu yoga. connections near and far. starting to think about 500 hour training at kripalu.memories of kripalu ytt.

Kripalu Yoga Teacher Training, August 2010

Oops! That was more like seven minutes! I'm off to practice, and I send the energy of my practice straight to you, Jackie! Love you and miss you! Hope you read this someday!! ;)

Aim True - Day 16

Yoga Postures to Remain Calm
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig

Explore postures that teach us how to find comfort in the uncomfortable on and off of the mat. Venture into expansive postures such as Bird of Paradise, Visvamitrasana prep, Upavishta Konasana and Ustrasana variations. Step into the fire of transformation expanding your edge and ability to remain calm. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on October 25, 2010, I took the class for the first time on January 12, 2011.
• 16/87 classes complete.
• 9/16 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far: 
• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core
• Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig
• Yoga to Change Your Perspective with Kathryn Budig 

I think this may have been the class that made me fall in love with Kathryn about a year ago. I had always admired her beautiful photos in the ToeSox advertisements in Yoga Journal, but to be honest, I sort of thought she was the actress from All My Children who played Greenlee and later married (and divorced, I think?) that dude from the Bachelor. Her name is Rebecca Budig, I think. I don't remember exactly how I discovered YogaGlo - I had graduated from Kripalu in August, 2010 and was doing a lot of Kripalu practices and my own practices September - November of that year, and I was teaching one or two classes a week at the  YMCA. There may have been something in an issue of Yoga Journal about online classes, podcasts, etc. that led me to YogaGlo, and I immediately recognized Kathryn Budig's name, both from the ToeSox ads, and also because I used to be a big AMC fan. ;)

In any event, I very specifically remember this class (and a few other classes) having a big impact on me. I really liked the idea of using yoga postures to remain calm - especially yoga postures that could be REALLY challenging and require a lot of focus and strength. 


I had a good practice today. I'm excited to write a more lengthy week wrap-up after I practice tomorrow. I'll be three classes behind my goal for the Aim True Challenge, but one class ahead in my overall practice goal, and this week I have started to see and feel a lot of transformation stemming from my commitment to showing up on my mat, both personally and in my career as a yoga teacher. It's all very exciting.

In other news, I posted about this as a Facebook status, but I want to get the message out there, so I'll post it here, too, in case any of my students or potential students read my blog but aren't on Facebook:

Please make sure you take yoga classes with a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) - this means that your teacher graduated from a (minimum) 200 hour training program that is certified by the Yoga Alliance and has the proper training in anatomy & physiology, techniques and practice, yoga philosophy, and teaching methodology to keep you SAFE as you practice yoga. As the Yoga Alliance explains: "Training as a yoga teacher takes time and effort. Find out how your teacher obtained his or her training. Ask about training schools or programs completed and who their primary teachers have been. A Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT®) designation is a symbol of experience, dedication and commitment on the part of your yoga teacher."


As a professional yoga teacher and a Kripalu-certified RYT, it really disturbs and insults me that people with absolutely no training, education or certification in yoga will teach yoga classes. Yoga is not the same as Pilates. Yoga is not the same as Zumba. Yoga is not spinning, step aerobics or jazzercise. My dad is Dr. Lowbridge because he has a Ph.D - but that doesn't mean he can deliver babies or prescribe meditation. In the same way, the 5000 year old science of yoga shouldn't be taught by someone who has another type of fitness training. After all the drama about the NYT article at the beginning of the year, it's horrifying to me to hear about yoga classes being taught by people with absolutely no training or certification. Don't trust the health and well-being of your body to someone who doesn't have the proper training to teach you.


Om, shanti, shanti, shanti!!!!

Aim True - Day 15

Friday, January 27, 2012

Yoga to Change Your Perspective with Kathryn Budig
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig


Shift your attitude and perspective along with your hamstrings and hip flexors. We explore the potential for growth, length, space and change in our minds and lower bodies leading up to Uttitha Hasta Padangustasana (Standing Hand to Big Toe) and Vashistasana II (Side Plank II).

• Posted on YogaGlo on September 28, 2010, I took the class for the first time today. (But I actually don't believe that. I think YogaGlo is WRONG! I am pretty sure I had taken this class. But YogaGlo says I didn't, and they have the final say. =)
• 15/86 classes complete.
• 8/15 I had taken at least once before. (or so YogaGlo says.)
• Favorite Aim True practices so far: 

• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core
• Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig
• Yoga to Change Your Perspective with Kathryn Budig

Yep - it's going on the favorites list! This was a really great practice for me today. In fact, I feel like I'm starting to have some serious Yogalations (you know, yoga inspired revelations) so maybe any practice would have made it to the favorites list. I'll have to watch out for that.

I've modified my approach to my Aim True challenge just a wee bit. I'm still going chronologically through the classes, but I've decided I'm going to also go by level, so I'll complete all of the level 2s before moving onto the 2/3s and 3s. It's a little bit of a change for me; usually I just take any Kathryn class and modify it on my own, which in a lot of the 2/3s and 3s means mostly ignoring the handstand kick-ups during the flow and skipping the INSANE arm balances and inversions, instead practicing dolphin. But I'm trying to do a better job of honoring my body and getting stronger and not just letting my practice plateau, and I think sticking with classes that really challenge me where I am actually makes it harder - in a GOOD way.

My Yogalation for today was more of a question. Kripalu Yoga is the inquiry of optimal living. Am I living optimally? It's scary to think about. But how can I approach the answer to this from a place of non-judgmental, compassionate self-awareness?

I need to get back to Kripalu for my 500-hr training. I'm feeling the call. I have to make it happen. =)

In other news, I want these Hot Booties. Has anyone seen this late-night TV product? They are slippers that you microwave! Those would go GREAT with my Snuggie... if it ever actually feels like winter here in Kentucky!

Aim True - Day 14

Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig


Wake up and smell the yoga! This flow is oriented towards opening the heart and hips to get you going. A 45 minute AM flow focusing on space with heat building sun salutations and warriors. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on September 8, 2010, I took the class for the first time on December 26, 2010.
• 14/86 classes complete.
• 8/14 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far: 
• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core
• Morning Yoga Flow with Kathryn Budig

Oh! This is a GOOD one. I want to do this EVERY MORNING for the rest of my life. It starts off very slow and gentle, and Kathryn makes a point of saying, repeatedly, not to go as deep as you can first thing in the morning, giving lots of opportunity for everything to warm up. And then all of the sudden it's a sweaty, juicy flow that happens naturally - there was never that painful moment where things get hard all of the sudden - which I guess is a testament to being warmed up and following Kathryn's advice to tune into what your body is asking for, which changes every single day.

I'm doing so much Vinyasa Flow these days. I've been skipping some chaturangas, or at least modifying by coming onto my knees, because I'm feeling some pain in my elbows. I'm also skipping yoga mudra arms, or at least using a strap when I do them. When I interlace my fingers behind my back, I sort of have to force my elbows to go straight, and it doesn't feel very good, especially when I release. I feel like I'm going to pull my elbow joint the wrong way and break my lower arm off. Ouch! I constantly tell my students to listen to and honor their body and yet there are places in my practice where I absolutely don't take my own advice - yoga mudra arms being the first thing that comes to mind. I don't know if my shoulders are just tight, if my anatomical structure makes it difficult, or if my right elbow, with its penchant to hyper-extend, gets in the way, but I'm all about the strap these days.

Namaste!

Aim True - Day 13

Lord have mercy, I'm counting points again.

Yep, I bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers online this week. I guess my aim really is starting to get a little more focused, and three weeks of solid yoga practice has me ready to make all sorts of little shifts and changes in my life.

I'm pretty good at eating healthy, whole foods. I eat lots of vegetables and whole grains and fish and such. But I'm not so good at portion control or saying no to mindless snacking, and I seem to have lost my touch when it comes to meal planning. I think it's because as of late my schedule has left me without a lot of time for actual meals, unless they are ready ahead of time, which has turned into me snacking all day between classes and working and then eating WAAAY too much at night. And this has left me not feeling my best.

So I've joined Weight Watchers for the 7 millionth time in my life, and I'm counting those pesky little points. Did you know that a Lara bar has six points?!? That's more than I would have expected. Tonight for dinner I had Kripalu Vegetarian Lentil Loaf and Millet Cauliflower Mash. (And some spinach and avocado! Yummy!) I dig that the WW program lets you enter entire recipes and then find out how many points are in each portion. (The Lentil Loaf has six points per serving and the Millet Cauliflower Mash has five points per serving, just in case you were curious!) I have mad respect for the fact that Weight Watchers assigns most fruits and vegetables ZERO points. As a big advocate of vegetables, I think this encourages people to eat more of them, and not bank their points for wine. (Who would THINK of something like that?!? ;)

Onto the yoga.


Heat and Fire Flow
Vinyasa Flow 
Level 2/3
Kathryn Budig

A 2/3 flow class sprinkled with arm balance and inversion goodness. Flow through a well rounded class with peaks of heat and fire the dive into the goodness of forward folds and a well deserved savasana. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on June 8, 2010, I took it for the first time today.
• 13/86 classes completed.
• 7/13 I had taken at least once before.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far:  

• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core

Practice felt good tonight. Really good, in fact. I keep forgetting that I'm feeling better and stronger, and end up pleasantly surprised when the first few sun salutations feel like locking into something I know and understand and not like torture.

I even spent ten minutes after I finished the class practicing Ujjayi breath, and then I spent ten more minutes in seated meditation. My pranayama practice felt REALLY deep and cleansing.

So I'm starting the fourth week of 2012 feeling recommitted not just to my yoga practice but to a healthier lifestyle that honors my physical body. 

Onward!

Aim True - Day 12

(Saturday, January 21, 2012)

Backbend Flow
Hatha
Level 1-2
Kathryn Budig


Learn to pull all your energy up into your heart to open the chest and prepare for deeper backbends. Camel pose is broken down into 5 different variations with a yummy boat pose to finish off. 

• Posted on YogaGlo on July 9, 2011, and I first took the class that same day! That's a first so far. =)
• 12/86 classes completed.
• 7/12 I had taken at least once before.
• Additional practices this year: Felicia Tomasko's Wipe The Slate Clean Yin class, Kripalu Restorative Yoga class, Public Hatha class at the YMCA with Beverly, Kripalu Moderate Flow Yoga audio practice.
• Professionally: have taught 28 yoga classes and three meditation classes in 2012 as a certified RYT.
• Favorite Aim True practices so far:  

• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core

I didn't like this practice very much. Admittedly, I chose it because I only had 30 minutes to practice and I'm falling behind on my goal of five KB classes a week so wanted to get one in with the time I did have. But this was much less like an actual practice and much more like a quick workshop - which is fine in and of itself - but it wasn't a complete practice by any means. It's nothing against Kathryn - she teaches backbends better than anyone I have taken yoga from - but I just didn't feel warmed up enough to try to go deep into backbends that quickly. For me, to really get the backbend experience and the yummy, buzzy reverberations, I have to be REALLY warmed up before I do them. Warmed up as in heart-rate up, sweat pouring, strong-flow complete warmed up. THEN I can start playing with backbends. But 30 minutes really isn't enough time to get there, no matter how you slice it.

All that said, this was a good 30 minutes to do right before going out for the evening! Kathryn mentioned that backbends are natural caffeine - they REALLY wake you up - and it's true. So doing this practice immediately before getting dolled up for a night out on the town (mmm, fancy Italian dinner complete with cocktails, wine, delicious food, dessert AND limoncello!) was really excellent timing. My night out was AMAZING, and I give the backbends all of the credit. (Okay, and the wine gets some credit, too.)

So I end my third week of aiming true three classes behind, which isn't so bad considering that I've been doing other practices - I went to Beverly's class at the YMCA on Tuesday and did a Kripalu moderate flow class on Friday, which means I've practiced a total of 16 times in three weeks, which is something to be proud of! With that said, I need to pick it up this week and stick with Kathryn every day.

After three weeks of so much practice, I'm starting to feel drawn back to the more spiritual side of my sadhana, which is both exciting and sometimes overwhelming. I'm excited that my book club is going to be reading The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope. It will be a great way to reconnect with that part of my practice. 

Happy three week anniversary of a new year!

Namaste. =)

Bonus Yoga: Kripalu Moderate Yoga Flow

Friday, January 20, 2012

Whew. I had forgotten just how physically and emotionally intense true Kripalu yoga can be. I've been doing so much Vinyasa Flow with Kathryn Budig, and I LOVE it, but it's really important to me in my practice to switch it up at least once a week to keep myself fresh, open and connected. It's like this analogy I heard: if you drive a pickup truck down a gravel driveway the same way again and again and again, deep grooves are going to develop in the gravel, and the truck won't be able to go any other way; eventually the wheels will get stuck and spin. So it is in our bodies, when we habitually do the same thing each and every day, which is why we have to iron it out through a yoga practice (assuming, of course, that we want to feel GOOD in our physical lives!) I think it applies on an even deeper level for the serious yoga practitioner and yoga teacher - in order to avoid overuse injuries and creating deep grooves in the body you can't do the exact SAME yoga over and over and over again, day in and day out.

Today I did an audio practice that the Kripalu Yoga Teacher's Association sent me a few months ago, that I hadn't yet tried. It was truly a Kripalu style class - deep emphasis on pranayama, micro-movements, long holds with deeper breath work, and a lot of emphasis placed on STRENGTH and finding flexibility from a place of strength. It was CHALLENGING for me to slow down after so much fast-paced Vinyasa practice. And I really appreciated that slowing down, immensely. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be SORE tomorrow.

Aim True - Day 11

Core Work & Standing Balances
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig

This class is geared to give your body and mind a treat. With a concentration on the core we work on a few arm balances and standing balance poses. Short holds and fluid flow aim to creating space in the body and mind to see clearly and feel refreshed.  

• Originally posted on YogaGlo on June 28, 2010, I originally took the class on January 25, 2011.
• 11/85 classes DONE!
• 6/11 classes I had taken at least once before.
• Favorites so far:  

• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core

I liked this class a lot. It was a pretty traditional flow class - Surya Namaskara As and Bs flowing into what I think of as the core of the standing poses: Warrior 1, Warrior 2, Reverse Warrior, Lateral Angle and then some balance challenges here and there. I got a good sweat going and I feel pretty refreshed now that it's all said and done. 

Jai Bhagwan!

Aim True - Day 10

Click and play yoga with me.

Find the Connection to Your Core
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig

Learn how to move fluidly through your practice by finding the connection to your core. Sun salutation work lead up to crow, side plank and headstand. 

• Originally posted on YogaGlo on May 25, 2010, I took it for the first time today.
• 10/85 classes DONE!
• 5/10 classes I had taken at least once before.
• Favorites so far:  
• Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana
• Find the Connection to Your Core 

Yep, in a shocking turn of events, this one is going on the favorites list. Why is it shocking? Because I loathe core work. But this wasn't a core work class, exactly. It was using the core to find stability in other poses, not just 200 Ardha Navasana to Navasana repetitions. And I dug it. I dug the work in Crescent (Kripalu Warrior I), Warrior I (traditional), Warrior 2 and Lateral Angle. I actually appreciated the forearm plank to side plank work. There was a very ample cool down and Savasana. It was a really well-rounded, balanced class that would be a solid practice any day. 

I've noticed that the moment we step to the front of the mat for Surya Namaskara A after the warm-up has become REALLY sacred for me, as have the first few sun salutations. The ritualistic aspect of it is like returning to something comfortable and understood. It's one of the reasons that, despite the fact that they really didn't stress sun salutations as part of my Kripalu training, I really like making them a part of the classes that I teach. I would love for my students to start having that feeling I have - that sense of familiarity and ritual - when we practice Surya Namaskara A. I always (always!) teach some variation of a six motions of the spine warm up, though, which may be what is most familiar to my students. Or maybe they really don't pay much attention, I'm not 100% sure. =)

So here's the other shocker: I shouldn't even be writing this right now because I didn't mean to practice today. That's right, I had given myself the day off after two days of intense practice on Saturday and Sunday. But I got home tonight after teaching two classes and working all day, and I HAD to practice yoga. I guess this is one of those revelations I've had countless times before and will have countless times in the future: when I'm feeling sort of yucky or off-kilter, YOGA MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. And my body has caught on (again) after two weeks of a lot of personal yoga practice, and now when I'm feel yucky and off-kilter, I CRAVE YOGA. My body CRAVES yoga. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

The very first day of this challenge (the day I was fairly sure my body was made of cement) feels like a million years ago in terms of how I'm feeling physically these days. Every single day I feel a little bit stronger - in my legs, in my arms, in my shoulders and everywhere else. I feel a little more open, I find myself a little bit deeper in postures, I'm able to maintain dirgha/ujjayi breath throughout more of my practice...and guess what? I'm also feeling HAPPIER off the mat. See? All of the stuff I almost preach day in and day out when I teach is ACTUALLY TRUE. Yoga makes everything better, on and off the mat. You just have to get through the initial learning curve of understanding the practice, the postures and the breath. (Or you have to come back to your practice after a bit of time off and reconnect with it, which is what's happened for me.) And then it turns into this refuge, this place of comfort and solace that is always available. Outside of my family, my friends, my health, my freedom and my education, there is little I am more thankful for than my yoga practice. It really is a foundation for me, and after ten days of intense Vinyasa practice (and two restorative classes) I'm remembering that again.

The Sanskrit word JAI means VICTORY. Reconnecting and remembering why yoga is so wonderful via my own practice, in my own body, as my own experience certainly deserves a big, loud JAI, right?!?

JAI!!!!!!!

Aim True - Day 9

This was the day I remembered the importance of strength in yoga. And the the way in which true surrender only comes from a place of strength. Ahh, thank you, Kathryn. Thank you, YogaGlo.

Want to play along? Go here.

Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana 
Vinyasa Flow
Level 2
Kathryn Budig

Learn the proper rotation of the thighs and pelvis to properly protect the lower back and use your hamstrings and hip flexors to their fullest and most playful potential. Calm your monkey mind by mastering the monkey himself -- Hanumanasana or Splits.

• Originally posted on YogaGlo on May 14, 2010, I originally took this class on January 26, 2011.
• 9/85 classes complete.
• 5/9 classes I had taken at least once before.
• Favorites so far: Calm Your Monkey Mind and Master Hanumanasana. 

As you can see, I'm starting to also keep track of my favorite practices as part of this challenge - and this is definitely the first class going on that list. This class is BLISS, and it's also a serious ASS-KICKER. But in a way that feels completely controlled and SAFE. Love, love, love, love, LOVE.

The sun salutations at the beginning go quickly, and I've remembered why I so love the Ashtanga influence on Kathryn's teaching of always warming up with Surya Namaskara A, after a sort of pre-warm up (that I associate with Yoga Works for some reason) that uses the core of the vinyasa flow sequence: downdog, plank, chaturanga, a backbend (cobra or updog) back to downdog, with some good forward folding and usually some shoulder openers.

We transitioned from Surya Namaskara A to B, with some interesting variations thrown in, including standing splits in dolphin. The transition from dog to my forearms is a transition I really need to work on, I remembered.

After some really intense work in Warrior 2, Ardha Chandrasana and Standing Splits (whoa, that part was INTENSE strength training) we landed in one of my very favorite sequences, after building up a really solid sweat: forearm dragon pose with variations, and Ardha Hanumanasana, working toward Hanumanasana.

BLISS, BLISS, BLISS, BLISS. Hard-working, sweaty, strength + surrender BLISS.

I can do full Hanumanasana. I am physically capable of it and have practiced it on many occasions. But today it just wasn't there for me, and as Kathryn was SO good about reminding the class, THAT'S OKAY. It was going to where I could from a place of ease and non-judgemental awareness. What a profound reconnection to the spiritual growth I feel from practicing yoga. So I stayed with a block on the medium level underneath the top of my hamstring, and I dealt with it. My ego had to take a vacation.

Cooling down in single pigeon (she actually offered double pigeon or thread the needle, but I followed my instincts, the innate wisdom of my body, and took single pigeon instead) was BLISSFUL.

And I held dolphin for a LONG time during the inversions. I feel such a dramatic difference in the strength of my shoulders - and I think that massage yesterday REALLY helped, too. =)

Savasna was truly blissful. I always remember Devarshi saying, during my teacher training, that the most rewarding Savasanas come from strength-based practices. It's true. It's not so much about the posture of Savasana itself, it's more the way a really strong, sweaty class just magically releases so much tension from your body that it allows you to sink so much deeper into the support below you. I felt like I was in a hammock, whereas I was actually laying flat on the hard floor. Nice.

So I'm inspired by this practice to teach STRENGTH + SURRENDER themed classes this week. Last week I was inspired by the NYT article to really focus on safety in practice, being sensitively tuned-in to the body, paying attention to every moment of the practice, even in transitions. After this week of practice, though, I feel like I need to turn the focus onto the vast and scientifically proven BENEFITS of yoga, and learning to find balance between being strong, finding the edge, while using that strength to find a place of surrender and acceptance.

And so I wrap up the second week of my Aim True challenge feeling invigorated and mostly back on track with my practice, noticing that I'm more open and stronger than I was on New Year's Day, which was two weeks ago today. I'm one class behind my goal of five classes a week, but I've done two additional non-Kathryn Budig classes so just in terms of practice, I'm one ahead. =)

Off the mat I've felt re-inspired in the kitchen, playing with my Le Creuset grill pan (both Ahi Tuna and strip steaks) and doing a lot of roasted vegetables to have on hand (I made roasted beets on Thursday night that fed me until today!) - the reverberations of which I can feel physically - just feeling a tiny bit leaner than I was, something I noticed just today. It motivates me to keep on keepin' on. 

JAI!

ps - much love to my dear friend Devin for practicing this class with me this morning, after a phenominal girl's night last night!

Aim True - Day 8 (& happy birthday to YOU!)

Oh, backbends.  I had forgotten how much I adore you.

Today I took this class.

Oh, soooooooooooo good. So, so, SO good. Click the link, sign up for YogaGlo, and try it.


Heat Building Backbend Flow
Vinyasa Flow 
Level 2
Kathryn Budig

Find your balance of strength and surrender to break on through to the other side with backbends. This heat building flow digs deep into the chest and hip flexors to prep the body for King Dancer and Scorpion. 

• I originally took this class on May 16, 2011. It was posted on YogaGlo on May 4, 2010.
• 8/85 classes complete (yes, they keep multiplying...)
• 4/8 classes I had taken at least once before.

I may have cheated today. No, no, no, I didn't listen to the class whilst in child's pose. I swear. But I did get a massage today after I taught my Saturday AM class. A luxurious, relaxing, knots-be-gone deep tissue massage that left me feeling like jello. YUM. I struggle with overuse issues in my shoulders, but especially in my right shoulder (and I think it's because my right elbow hyper extends if I'm not careful, and it feels directly related to the strain and ache I sometimes get just to the left of my right shoulder blade) and the last time I got a massage I was sad to hear that my muscles were supple everywhere but around my right rhomboid connector, where it was stringy and clumpy. Ugh. But the last time I got a massage was last March, and I'm pretty sure that if you teach and practice as much yoga as I do, you probably need massages way more often. =) I told my massage therapist where I was noticing issues, and boy did she work it out. I think the attention to my shoulders made this heart and shoulder opening class feel amazing three hours later.

Heart-openers are SO exhilarating. If I'm tuned into it, the buzz I feel after releasing from King Dancer is blissful and exciting. Kathryn teaches backbends so ridiculously well - I'd say they are her forte when it comes to her teaching. She is the reason I love them now - a year ago I thought they were scary. Now they are just good. Like a really good steak cooked to perfection on my Le Creuset grill pan, topped with a caramelized onion and mushroom red wine reduction finished with real, fresh butter. (I may or may not have had this for dinner last night.) Both are heaven.

I got super sweaty during the flow of this class. And man, I feel like I spent a long time in Crescent (Kirpalu Warrior 1) Pose, doing a million variations that required my core to stay completely engaged. I'm going to be sore tomorrow. But you really have to build that kind of heat in the legs to get the best release in the backbends - it's true.

Nick & I on my birthday in 2009. I <3 BIRTHDAYS!

I took Kathryn's suggestion to end in Legs Up The Wall, and man, that was a REALLY good way to finish the class. I could have stayed there for much longer, but I have to get ready to go out for sushi with my dear friend Devin! Poor me, right? =) I could just cry myself a river. Hahahaha.

My sister loves birthdays, too.

I'm feeling lucky today, and blessed, and grateful. I was inspired by this article, which is really super-cheesy, but also kind of an awesome idea. While I don't talk to the universe the way the author does, or necessarily buy into the whole idea that you get what you ask for (people don't normally ask to get cancer, or to have a loved one die, etc.) I do know the Birthday Feeling she is talking about, and I agree, I'd like to live every day with that Birthday Feeling of excitement and gratitude. If you know me you know that birthdays - ALL birthdays, my own and everyone else's, are my absolute favorite holiday. I even talked about how my mom made birthdays ridiculously special when I spoke at her funeral in 2004. Birthdays were always THAT special in our family.

So here's to the the Birthday Feeling every single day: excitement, happiness and LOVE!

(Don't mind me. I'm high on backbends, apparently!) =)

ps - Rhian's candles lie, by the way. If she had Madeline when she was 23, which she did, how is Madeline in the photo at approximately 4 years old on what appears to be Rhian's 22nd birthday? Hmmm..... ;) 

Reality Yogi: More Evening Yoga

In the spirit of my recent confession of having a reality TV habit, along with a reality yoga practice during said TV, I'm offering another sequence I love to do at night with or without bad TV in the background:

• SUKASANA for one to two minutes, gently deepening the breath
• FORWARD FOLD in SUKASANA for five deep breaths.
• fingers interlaced, gaze gently up, heart forward mini-backbend for five deep breaths.
• SIDE STRETCH in SUKASANA five breaths each side.
• TWIST in SUKASANA five breaths each side.
• DOUBLE PIGEON with forward fold five full breaths each side.
• SUPPORTED CHEST OPENER on blocks: bottom block at medium height at the base of the shoulders, top block at medium height under head, shoulders relaxed: 3-5 minutes.
• SUKASANA / meditation for as long as you like.

Sometimes I really like ending with a restorative backbend like that - I feel like I spend a LOT of time in forward folds, just in real life - in my day to day activities. The verrrrry gentle, supported backbend just releases SO much of that forward folding, shoulder-rounding TENSION of the day. Ahhhhhh.....

Breathe deep, sleep easy...

Love,
The Reality Yogi

photo credit: stress-relief