Antsy-pantsy-pie

I've been horribly anxious this weekend. I can't really place where it's coming from, this anxiety, and I've been trying all of my top-secret yoga teacher tricks to combat it to no avail. And by top-secret yoga teacher tricks I mean really revolutionary things like BREATHING. It's that kind of anxiety where I just feel like I can't sit still. Nothing satisfies me. Ever since Friday night I've been trying to find ways to feel less antsy and more grounded. I tried forward bends, hoping the sense of introversion would connect me with myself. I tried back bends and chest openers wondering if I needed to set something free. I did a bunch of sun salutations to work up a sweat. I went to Starbucks and had a pumpkin spice latte, a pumpkin & cream cheese muffin, sat outside and tried to write. My writing had no spark or direction so I gave up. I did this Inward Diving pranayama flow, a guided relaxation, and my own meditation practice. What did it all get me? Well, I woke up with a stiff neck and a sore upper back. Awesome.

I have no inspiring story about how I've fought and won this odd sense of just-NOT-okay. What I did remember a few minute ago is that the idea of witness consciousness isn't to turn all bad sensation into good sensation, but instead to just watch it without judgment. So, that's my plan now. I'm going to stop fighting the antsy-pantsy feeling and just notice it. Consider yourself seen, anxiousness. You can stay. Or you can go. I'll be okay, either way.