I've been feeling incredibly STUCK as of late - on a lot of different levels. I decided to take it to the mat and really challenge myself with some advanced classes on YogaGlo - it seemed like a good way to try and build heat and momentum and inspire forward movement OFF the mat. Guess what? I hurt myself. I'm pretty sure I strained my lower back trying to transition from Dancer's Pose to Warrior III. It could have also been my focus in my personal practice on back bends, teaching a back bending intensive class on Saturday, trying to do an advanced version of camel, or playing around with some arm balances (most likely all of the above culminating in the dancer-to-vira-ouchie) but it has officially slowed me down. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Unfortunately (and/or a pretty obvious INQUIRY) I do not deal well with injury. It makes me exceedingly ANGRY. I'm trying to BRFWA my way through it (breath, relax, feel, watch, allow for those of you who don't know) and maybe understand why physical injury always makes me feel really, REALLY mad. But I'm mostly just mad. And even more confused and paralyzed in terms of making some important decisions.
Is it a sign from the universe or a fluke? In my life off the mat do I need to slow down and not force change and transition or do I just need to GO, swallow my uncertainty and push through?
Om Mani Padme Hum.
It's a sign from your body, maybe telling you to listen more closely to what it's telling you, maybe telling you that sometimes shit happens.
ReplyDeleteThe armchair psychologist in me says that you're mad because you're using this injury to judge yourself, to blame yourself (anyway, I could see myself doing that). Don't. It may be the case that it just happened, you were just unlucky. Even if it could have been avoided, well, that happens too. I think I've said this before, but being a teacher doesn't mean being perfect. And that's okay. We do the best we can, we learn at every opportunity, and we try not to beat ourselves up over the mistakes or setbacks or missed opportunities.
Anyway, there's my $.02.
I get injured when I get attached to what a pose is supposed to be, or supposed to look like, and I think my whole life reflects the same issues.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're too attached to what your life is supposed to look like or supposed to be, rather than just moving forward into what you need it to be.
you might like to read this:
ReplyDeletehttp://womanteaux.blogspot.com/
Sam
Sam - that's incredibly insightful, actually! Thank you!! I will definitely check out your blog... xo
ReplyDelete